I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
