well you can't waste a boner
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
