I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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