margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize