It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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