i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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