uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize