Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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