I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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