I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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