Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We got so high we made milksteak
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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