My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
