the new term for farting is butt boxing.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
