My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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