PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
