I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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