I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
