Having a random hookup so left but love u
Porn is love you can see.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
