I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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