Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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