S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
