this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
