Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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