marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
