Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
