called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
