; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
