Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
