I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
