Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize