and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
