watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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