I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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