just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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