I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
