so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
