I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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