I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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