He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize