how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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