If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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