Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
