She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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