i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
