I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
