so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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