Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
