Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
