Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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