He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize