Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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