I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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