Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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