It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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