I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
