Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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