NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
