"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
