you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
