All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize