Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
