just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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