I smell stomach acid.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
