Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
