can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize