Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
