you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
