this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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