i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
