i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Terrible idea I love it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
