She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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