We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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