Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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