So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
