CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
